Coming Back

In the weeks and months leading up to our trip, I was nervous. Not about the many hours of flying, I like the journey as much as the destination. I wasn’t nervous about being back in the land of anything and everything, even though we hadn’t lived it in two years.

No, I was worried about coming back...and we hadn’t even left yet.

When it came time to board our first flight, we were tired. We had been stretched over the last two years...culturally, professionally, emotionally, spiritually. It didn’t hit me until we left here, how tired I was from the daily grind of working, raising three kids and doing everything to make life “go”...laundry, dishes, meals. It’s all the “normal” stuff you do wherever you are in the world being "mom", but it takes three times as long to get it all done here without modern convienices like a dishwasher and dryer.

So I left thinking, "Would we want to come back to this?" I mean, we would have to fulfill our commitment until 2017, but if we didn’t want to come back it would be really difficult to keep going.

Our time with friends, family and our church family, was great. We ate out...way more than should legally be allowed. I used dryer sheets just because I missed that “fresh outta the dryer scent”. There was even HOT water for showers even on cloudy days. Bliss for someone that relies on the sun to have hot water!

Even in all the fun we had and the down time we relished, there was a problem. We realized we didn’t fit. People have moved on (as they should) and times have changed (obviously) But having never lived away from our home country this long, we didn’t really know what to expect re-entering, even if just for a few weeks.

Please, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a knock on those we love. We know we are loved and wanted closer than half a world away. And we want to be there more than anything.

But God’s plan is different.

After being back in Texas, we had a renewed sense that this is where He wants us. We fit here even though it’s hard to be apart from those we love. For this time, this season, this is where He’s called us. And I don’t know why. I’ve tried to figure out what His plan is in calling these boring, ordinary people out of their very boring, ordinary lives. Clearly, the Lord thinks He can somehow use this crew of five for His purposes on the other side of the globe.

But He never said it would be easy.

So we come back and we press on. For two and a half more years we do this life trying not to think about how much will change or how much we’ll miss with our families and friends while we're here. We come back to a culture we still don’t understand...and never will...no matter how long we live here. We come back to lots of homemade meals, piles of dishes and dodging rain showers to hang laundry.

In this hard part of trusting what we don’t understand, He carries us because He loves us. He’ll carry those we love and leave behind because this life we're living? Yeah, it's is really hard for them too.

He’s called us all to do something that doesn’t make sense in our earthly flesh, but is part of His plan. His purpose. Something bigger than ourselves. And all for His glory.