|Attempting a family selfie in Hong Kong on our trip back to the US. Clearly some of us need a tutorial.|
I hope you'll forgive my silence on this space. I know it's been awhile. (Where's the eye roll emoji when you need it?!)
If I can be perfectly honest, I was dead tired, or as we say in Texas "dog tired", when we left PNG almost 5 months ago. I really had no idea how drained I really was until a few months ago. I know you've been there and have felt that way at some point in your life so you get it.
Between the stress of packing, leaving life as we knew it and re-entering here, there was so much to say, but I couldn't put it into words as I was still sorting it all out in my heart and mind. Then at some point a couple of months ago, I realised I felt more rested, more together, than I had been in awhile. The transition fog had cleared a bit...but really? Would anybody care to read the ramblings of a missionary, wife and mother who had just come fresh off the field? She's bound to be a wack-o or really boring. And weird. Definitely weird.
Ummm...clearly there's been alot of self doubt. Thus the silence. Which is funny because I'm not exactly known for being the quiet one in the room.
But...since we've been back I've heard from a few people, some I didn't even know until recently, who have kept up with our journey via the blog, not social media. It turns out people like rambling,
wack-o missionary wives that write just like they talk :) With gentle prodding from my mom, Nannie (shout out to grandmothers who use technology!) and even my husband, I'm attempting to revive this space.
Where to begin (again)? What to say?
So much has changed since we've been gone but...I get it. I know I've changed too. Moving to a different country, learning to live and adapt to a different culture so completely foreign than here, learning a different language...those things changed my world view, my perspective. I'm coming back seeing life around me differently than before. I'm also seeing life through my kids eyes, especially our youngest as it's like she's seeing the U.S. for the first time. I mean, I never thought I'd have to explain a sno cone or roller skating or dressing rooms...but...here we are. Jason and I have needed more patience than I think we even realised. There are a *million* questions about U.S. culture, slang, seasons...you name it, it's probably been asked. I'm thankful our three are taking us seriously on our "nothing is a dumb question so ask it" offer.
Thankfully, at the same time, much has stayed the same. Our friends and family have welcomed us back with so much love. We are completely overwhelmed by the generosity of everyone that has contributed to what we've needed this year. I know. Just a year.
The question of how long we'll stay stateside comes up frequently. Lord willing, all the many pieces, like training and support, will come together and we'll go back to PNG in early January. I can't explain WHY we're going other than that's where the Lord wants for us. I don't know why we can't stay here, trust me, I've asked. For whatever reason He's told us to go, so that's what we have to do. Today I ran across a timely quote from author Priscilla Shirer:
Making sense of God's call is not a prerequisite for following it. Obey.
And I hope that whatever He's calling you to do, you're doing it. We all have our part to play in His bigger picture and plan even when we don't understand it. Yeah...obedience is tough sometimes.
I know a year doesn't seem like much time when, here we are, already in May. For now, we're not focusing so much on that as we are trying to soak up as much time with family and friends. Time, we've realised the last four years, is a precious commodity not to be taken for granted. We know we can't make up for the time we've lost, but we can certainly make the most of right now and we're soaking it in.